Book Review– Lucky Girl: How I Survived the Sex Industry by Violet Ivy

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I was drawn to this book because I love memoir.

I was initially wary because of my personal history with domestic violence and rape, but when I asked the author about any possible triggers, she answered right away that only one or two places may bother me.  She was right, and I appreciate her honesty.  

Here is the synopsis:

The intimate autobiography of an international call girl. Scary, funny and bizarre stories recorded for your amusement, edification or simply for interesting dinner conversation. 

The sex industry is clouded in mystery. It has to be to some extent or it wouldn’t survive. But in this age of internet porn, buying pubic hair trimmings online and wife swapping parties it’s about time the veils of mystery were taken down. 

For moralists, let’s visit the chicken and the egg scenario. Which came first the prostitute or the client? If there were no clients then obviously there would be no sex workers. But what if there weren’t any prostitutes? Would guys wank themselves silly to porn? Harass their post-menopausal wives? Frequent bars trying their luck? Or hassle the secretary and risk being charged with sexual harassment? Would statistics for rape be on the increase? Is prostitution a necessary evil in our society? Don’t mindlessly believe and quote information spoon fed to you by friends, family or the media. Make an educated decision. 

Although it was never my intention to get into this industry, I’ve travelled the world, had incredible experiences and bought several properties. I won’t have to rely on the government pension when I retire. 

My closest friends are co-workers, madams and clients. Brilliant people who I would never otherwise have had the good fortune to meet. I will never regret my decision to enter this field. It has not always been a bed of roses, but when I compare it to what my life might have been; cleaning job, shitty boss, marriage, perhaps divorce, mortgage, kids, living in the burbs, scraping by to give my kids a better life than I was destined for, I feel that I have been rescued… thank God. 

Money doesn’t make you happy? Tell that to someone thrown out of his house because he can’t make the payments or the mother who can’t afford Christmas presents for her kids again this year. I’ve been poor. Money equals choices. Options of how to travel on this journey we call life. Did I make some mistakes? Sure! But there’s not too much I’d change. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Money gives security. Poverty causes ulcers. Financial hardship can also make you compromise yourself in ways that being a sex worker never will. 

This industry eats its young and damages those not strong enough to cope. Every worker has a different personality, head space, upbringing, personal history and therefore experience. This book is a glimpse of mine. I am not advocating anyone join the profession. That is a personal choice. 

When I started out I could never have imagined what my life journey would look like or where I would be now. I don’t even know where in the world I will be in twelve months. What I will be doing? Who I might be bonking, caning or smearing with hot wax? Exciting isn’t it? Carpe diem – seize the day. I’m a lucky girl.

This book fascinated me because of the subject matter.  In most places in the U.S., prostitution is illegal.  I have always felt that a legalized sex industry could do so much to improve the lives of the women that choose the oldest profession, and as a nurse, I have thought that a regulated industry can do so much to improve STD rates.

This book went far to further those ideals.  This woman wasn’t forced into it.  She is not a sex slave or beholden to a pimp.  She made a decision (yes, it was motivated by money) to offer a service for a fee.  And she has done very well for herself.

I enjoyed her candid way of explaining her story.  Her honesty in writing that she got into it for the money, and stays because she likes it.  She is honest with herself, her friends and family that “know” and with her clients.  Most women don’t know themselves this well.

I enjoyed her stories, maybe not the one that she mentioned would trigger me (and it did, but I survived) but the ones that discussed her long term clients, the client who was losing his virginity.  I especially enjoyed her stories about her time in a very high-priced sex club in London.

I loved her contrasts between her life and that of her sister (a seemingly straight laced “mum”). 

I truly see her point about her profession.  That is is definitely needed.  That she is a licensed professional in every sense of the word.  

I do ache for her loneliness.  As she says, she would probably question someone who was ok with what she does in terms of a romantic relationship.  She is able to separate her work from her personal life, but clearly others have not been able to.

Again, I’m a nurse, and also very secure and happy in my sexual life.  I regularly read erotica.  I have no qualms about the human body or its functions.  I have no issues with sex, other than sex that is forced on others.  I enjoyed her book for what it was, a memoir of a life I have never thought much about.

Intrigued?  Give it a try.   

 

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Amanda’s Favs for 2013 — Part One | The Eclectic Bookworm
  2. Rashawn
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 06:32:17

    I love Violet Ivy’s blog so I would be excited to read this book.

    Reply

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