Book Review: I Heart My Little A-holes by Karen Alpert


I have been a huge fan of the author’s Facebook page, Baby Sideburns, for about a year now.  I had to get the book..

Here is the synopsis:

When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. So it’s only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can’t because you’d go to prison, and then you’d really never get to poop alone again. Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. Karen Alpert is the writer of the popular blog Baby Sideburns. You may have seen some of her more viral posts like “Ten Things I Really F’ing Want for Mother’s Day,” “Daddy Sticker Chart” and “What NOT to F’ing Buy My Kids this Holiday.” Or you may know her from her Facebook page that has over 130,000 followers. I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper. 

I have one six year old daughter.  ONE.  If we ever have another, she can probably help me care for it.  I have no clue how parents deal with two kids in diapers at the same time (Hi Beth and Aimee!).

This book reminded me of the crazy things my child does on a daily basis.  Even though she is out of the “I will destroy everything” phase, she is still pretty hilarious.

But nothing compares the the stories in this book.  I am so glad I read it when my husband was on night shift, or else I would have been waking him up every few minutes laughing hysterically.  Or from peeing the bed.

I especially loved her thoughts on Caillou.  I still hate Caillou.

I do understand that some people have difficulty referring to their kids as a-holes.  It doesn’t bother me.  Because This past week, my daughter has woken up before dawn EVERY MORNING (eff you daylight savings).  She regularly hides food in her room and creates “science experiments”.  I won’t even mention the hell that I go through trying to brush her hair in the morning.

I worry about the parents that don’t acknowledge that parenting isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.  They are delusional.

Overall, a hilarious read that all parents can definitely relate to.

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